The first element of the office layout is physical proximity. Be courageous and do your research. You cannot be here, prepared to be nowhere else, when you are interrupted by beeps, and buzzes. The conversation IS the relationship. Leaf Decisions:  Make the decision and act upon it. Behind the curtain, dirt and grime … The real risk is that: I will be known; I will be seen; I will be changed . Focus on being Fierce – Don’t focus on being the boss; Full Summary of Fierce Conversations. In Start with Why (2009), Simon Sinek connects the health of a business to its core values. Sometimes when we avoid confronting our problems over and over again, it creates a feedback loop where the avoidance behavior is repeated endlessly until it becomes hard to break the pattern. Fierce Conversations Book Summary, by Susan Scott. Root-cause analysis is limited because many problems have multiple causes. Susan founded Fierce in 2001 after 13 years leading CEO think tanks and more than 10,000 hours of conversations with senior executives. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. Many people hide behind a corporate nod in meetings. Here is a sampling of what others have said about the book and its author: “Scott maintains a consulting firm, Fierce Conversations, which provides leadership programs on creating positive change through powerful communication. Sometimes the most difficult questions arise during a conversation, and you should answer them honestly. People should give their full attention and close any devices they’re using, such as laptops or cell phones. Challenge yourself to come out from behind your emotional barrier and speak to others in an equal emotional light and authenticity. Express how you feel emotionally, this may be difficult and sometimes embarrassing, but is crucial to emphasize that you are affected by the problem being discussed. Questions are much more effective than answers in provoking learning.”(Scott, 2004). Research about the benefits of person-to-person conversations has implications for all kinds of workplace related conversations. However, listening is only half the battle, pay attention to the other person’s body language, tone of voice and level of emotion they speak with as well; we must show interest, concern and the value of what another person is saying to us. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a company, a relationship, or a life, any single conversation can. Make the Conversation Real – don’t allow your personal wall to block who you truly are to others. The results are usually powerful, and Scott’s workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own.”(Siegfried), “As Ken Blanchard notes in his foreword to this book, a course in conversations won't be found in an M.B.A. curriculum. They avoid uncomfortable issues that could make them feel bad about themselves if they’re revealed. These methods may be necessary in some situations but they shouldn’t be the default because it can sabotage you without realizing it. Showing complete interest in what another person has to say will not only produce the results you want, but it also encourages him or her to do the same in the future and establishes a strong relationship with that person. Instead, include everyone by saying “and”. Identify your contribution to this problem – recognize any position you may have played in provoking or prolonging the issue. This can be a very uncomfortable position to be in, but when this unknown territory gets explored more frequently it will become natural. Inviting other people to express their reality and then laying blame on them will give the impression that we didn’t really want to consider how things are in their eyes or how they interpreted things; and usually activates our defense mechanisms. We must be willing to engage in fierce conversation on a regular basis to ensure that both parties understand where each is going and how their views have changed, if any have changed at all, because the conversation is the relationship. So, teams get together every quarter to figure out what has changed since their last meeting. 5. See every conversation as brand new. Some offices conduct job interviews, team meetings and other important conversations via phone or video feed. The author believes that people are often not very good communicators, which leads to problems. Find out whether the people you’re dealing with agree with your proposal. “If we wish to accomplish great things in our organizations and in our lives, then we must come to terms with a basic human need: We must recognize that humans share a universal longing to be known and, being known, to be loved.”(Scott, 2004). Toyota is famous for its production system, which formed the basis of lean management in North America. Instead, use the term “and” as a transition in this type of situation to show that not only is what we first said true, the next statement is also true. Travel and International Foods (http://wyld-about-food.blogspot.com/). However, some conversations require being uncomfortable in order to come up with a solution that works for everyone involved. By reframing the issue in that way, some shelters have been able to address their issues by redirecting resources and helping dog owners deal with problems that might lead them to bring their pets into a shelter. Scott, S. (2004). After 13 years of actively engaging herself in consultation and fierce conversation, Susan decided to write a book to enable others to take part in meaningful, fierce conversation. That’s not easy because there are some uncomfortable things about yourself that you need to face in order to get the truth out of someone else, but when you can do it, people will trust you more and give better answers in return. Relationships will fail unless the other person expresses how they feel or what they’re thinking. She seems suspicious of technology and how it helps us communicate with each other. It outlines a range of conversation frameworks which people can have – both internal monologues or dialogues with colleagues, bosses, loved ones or clients. Today’s leaders should consider themselves to be conduits of information who are there to help their employees succeed. Don’t tell them otherwise. If I were the author of the book, I would have done these three things differently: 1. Determine the future implications – how this will affect me in the future if it is not resolved, how it will affect others and our emotions. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake – Regardless of our wake being positive or negative, our wakes are larger than we realize them to be. Some of these are: “What are my goals when I converse with people?”“How often do I find myself–just to be polite–saying things I don’t mean?”“When was the last time I said what I really thought and felt?”“When was the last time I confronted someone at work or at home about his or her behavior and ended the conversation having enriched the relationship?”“What is the conversation I’ve been unable to have with someone?”. Most conversations are unreal. Want to get the main points of Fierce Conversations in 20 minutes or less? Focus on being Fierce – Don’t focus on being the boss; focus on the relationship between you and your employees. They involve bringing those brutally honest and sometimes painful subjects to the surface with your coworkers, your spouse, and especially yourself. Tackle your toughest challenge today ; 5. They probe assumptions, methodologies, and predictions. He also serves as the Director of the Reverse Auction Research Center (http://reverseauctionresearch.blogspot.com/), a hub of research and news in the expanding world of competitive bidding. Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. A way of life. The third element is inclusion—making sure everyone has a voice in decisions that affect them. Fierce is an attitude. These kinds of questions are often overlooked because people today are so busy trying to find answers quickly that they don’t take time to explore other angles or ask more open-ended questions like this one can inspire conversations which might otherwise not have happened. Cover what you can and follow up later on the rest. 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